Cougar eet jong

Oh, by the way, your mom's friend is super pretty.

Okay, she's not my mom, and hopefully my dad won't even marry her.

Why did you need me to hurry up? Are you so anxious all of a sudden?

Okay, so here's the deal.

My dad is out of town in Phoenix for the day,

and I was hoping that Dana would be here alone, but Ava's here.

And I don't know how long she plans on staying here for.

Okay, so?

So, I need you to distract Ava while I...

How do you put this? Blackmail Dana.

Blackmail? With what? I mean, I know you don't...

I know she's using my dad. She's a lesbian.

As a matter of fact, Ava is her girlfriend.

I saw them making out the other day in her car.

Oh my God.

Yeah, anyways, so a friend of mine told me this story last semester.

Do you remember Kiera? She transferred to Davidson?

Yeah.

Kiera had the toughest professor ever, Magdalene St. Michael,

professor of Gothic literature.

Dr. St. Michael was standing in the way of Kiera maintaining her A average.

...